Milk does a body good

I am a person, not produce.

All of this chowing down has paid off.

My weight dropped half a pound to 7 pounds, 11 ounces in the two days between my birth and the time we left for home. When we went back to the hospital today for a check-up, today's weigh-in showed me back up to 8 pounds even. As with boxing weigh-ins, there was a fair amount of trash talking beforehand, some crying, and then my pay-per-view agreement with the microweight champion fell apart.

I do all the talking in this friendship.

But I digress ...

The nurse practitioner was impressed with my health. She said many babies don't regain that much weight so quickly. See, mom, you should be happy I wake you up in the middle of the night.